A Labor of Ruined Quarks

Words of a mentor

2011-12-27T09:21:00.004+08:00

Me: What qualities should an IE (Industrial Engineer) have to do well in this world?

Ms. Ems: Focus on the results, taking accountability for your results, refuse to take no for an answer – those are very, very important. At the end of the day, of course sensitivity plays a key role as to how far you can go there, di ba? And remember that you cannot do everything. There may be times when you will need political slots, you will need to find somebody to guide you through, who can sponsor your initiative because the greatest ideas can only be implemented as far as it can be sponsored or accepted.

Me: Okay. So yung last question is, ano po yung message niyo for students currently taking IE?

Ms. Ems: Whether it’s in the area of getting your first job or in the area of looking for opportunities to do your practicum or your thesis, don’t look at the money – don’t go in it for the money unless you absolutely, absolutely need it. Go for the experience and the training and learning that it will give you because at the end of the day, the money is secondary – mas importante yung matutunan mo.

Cine Europa 14 part 1

2011-09-11T17:10:00.001+08:00

Another year, another Free European Film Fest :D

Anyway, I didn't feel like going out today hence I'm missing out on today's movies. I managed to watch the Friday and Saturday screenings.

You can view the entire schedule here. Do note that the schedule sometimes changes.

19 films. No time to watch them all due to work weeks; twas last year's limitation as well. haha.

Princess (Prinsessa), Finland's entry is my favorite of the eight that I've seen so far.
As mentioned in their official website:

Princess, based on real-life events, tells the moving story of Anna Lappalainen. Lappalainen, claiming to be "Princess", spent 50 years of her life as a patient at Kellokoski Psychiatric Hospital, where she healed and brought joy to those around her through her lovable personality.

Good music, good acting and, for me, drives home the point that people should be treated as people regardless of their mental condition.

The other seven are listed below according to personal preference:

An Ordinary Execution (France)
Long Weekend (Belgium)
The Escape (Denmark)
Goethe! (Germany)
Grapes (Czech Republic)
Letter to America (Bulgaria)
Little Robbers (Austria)

The listing will probably change if I end up watching other films during the course of next week.

Mine (2011)

2011-07-01T21:43:00.000+08:00

My worlds have beginnings,
They have no ends,
Thoughtless, breathless
Oftentimes senseless
Nothing but roller-coasters to the sky

It is here in the dark sunlight that we find peace

What was the scariest moment of your life?

2011-07-01T20:19:00.001+08:00

thought that I'd go partially blind the first time I got a scratched cornea

“We learn more by looking for the answer to a question and not finding it than we do from learning the answer itself.”

The Voice (of America) favorites

2011-06-08T13:07:00.000+08:00

Just to keep track of people I'm rooting for (one person per team starting the battle rounds):

Christina Aguilera's team: Frenchie Davis
Blake Shelton's team: Dia Frampton
Cee Lo Green's team: Vicci Martinez
Adam Levine's team: ~~Rebecca Loebe~~ :(

The Rise and Fall of A Would Be Student (repost)

2011-04-30T22:37:00.001+08:00

So I guess i should post something just to say that I update this blog monthly. Here's something I wrote from a few years back. A reflection on college apparently.
=====
He was surrounded.
For five years he was surrounded.
Was there any difference from before?
The trains came and went with the steady insistence of a broken alarm.
It nagged at him, those five years.
Those were the years of invincibility.

Yet here he sits.
Here sits the thoughts of one.
Here sits the thoughts of the inconsequential.
A myriad of events occurred in those five years - the building blocks so to speak.

The symphony of existence.
The introduction was predictable.
It reeked of the collective.
It was for the good of the herd.
The timing was precise.
It was made to conquer.

It was not long then that the first stanza started.
How your cynicism had destroyed you.
He is you and you know this.
You never thought yourself better and you never did care much for the standing of others.
Therein lies the wall. Therein lies your restraint.

You stunted yourself my friend. Those five years came and went yet your path is as ambivalent as ever.
And with that, the chorus begins - inexcusable.
Growth is lost to you. Your life grew in fragments.
You sunk your time well. You sunk it far too easily...and it loops on forever.
There is no ending to this symphony as yet. It weaves itself with your existence.
You never shaped it completely on your own.

A Nudge

2011-03-27T21:25:00.001+08:00

You sat beside me as the bus fills
The scenery passes by
And I sense that you are watching me

Why hide behind a mask?
Hidden from sight are the windows to your soul
Buildings appear in my view

Your knee presses itself to mine
And try to catch my eye
But what eyes are behind the tinted mirrors?

Typing Speed Test Results

2011-02-10T12:29:00.002+08:00

86 words
typing speed test

Well that's an improvement. :)

Welcome to the cube: Introduction

2011-01-30T18:32:00.000+08:00

"The buzz of electric lights,

the low hum of the air-conditioner,

this is the daily orchestra we all face"

- Shae, Human Resources Department

June 16, 2011

Ms. Shae called me up just a few minutes ago and mentioned I was scheduled to talk with the Department Head on Monday. I wonder if I should be nervous. This is going to be my first job interview and I really don't know what to expect. Here's to hoping I get the job.

June 20, 2011

I think I got the job...hopefully. Well, here I am folks, back from the business district with its tall glass structures and cement paved sidewalks. They said I scored well during the application exams and that I'll be contacted as soon as humanly possible once HR processes stuff. I seem to be part of a relatively small department called Special Projects. I raised a few questions on what the job would be about, but they gave relatively generic responses so I'll probably ask them again once the staff orientation is set. Heh, look at me, thinking I already have the job.

Going for the hundred push ups program...take four

2011-01-22T11:15:00.000+08:00

yeap. I'm probably understating the take four bit. hahaha.

Anyway, back in the habit. Just finished Week 3, Day 3, Column 2.

Hopefully won't overdo it like last time and sprain my shoulder on week 6.

I'd post progress pics but meh. :p

A 2010 Summary

2010-12-31T13:41:00.000+08:00

Dear Quarkinator,

Another year is about to end and as per typical blog practice for some, a year-end post is recommended.

This is it.

Bow.

In remembrance of Bob

2010-12-05T21:20:00.002+08:00

Name: Bob
Occupation: ganglion cyst
Approximate Age at death: one year, and two weeks
Residence: Quarkinator's left wrist joint
Date of Death: Sunday, December 5, 2010
Place of Death: Quarkinator's bedroom
Cause of Death: Blunt impact with the use of a wooden paddle

Dinner Conversation: books and the family

2010-11-13T19:18:00.000+08:00

Dad's the only one in the house who hasn't read towers of midnight. While setting places at the table and throughout dinner, the family was discussing the Wheel of Time series (i.e., strongest main cast female light channelers, the Black Tower, Morianne, Mat, etc). Eventually, we shift to Mercedes Lackey. I have yet to read the two latter books of Mage Storms series but I got some information on how it all ended.

Anyway, here's the non-verbatim closing remarks

Pa: Robert Jordan borrowed from a lot of mythologies

Ma: He's very Tolkien

Pa: But did he bring it to a higher level?

Ma: He's like a mix of Tolkien and

Ma and Pa: Mercedes Lackey

Ma: If Jordan, or that guy (Sanderson) ends the series similar to what Lackey did...

-fade-

That part I did not hear that well :p

Also, I think it's cool when my parents finish each others sentences. haha.

That brings up the question. What would it take to be original with literature these days?

Breaking down the 25: (2) A Duality of Nature

2010-10-25T09:40:00.000+08:00

Doing this in chronological order is harder than I thought. haha.

Split personality? Not really. I guess this came about primarily because of the voices in my head. Yep.

"There was a base.
Tesla coils surround the perimeter and attack dogs make nightly patrols.
But there was one area of weakness,
it was found out by a bare handful
The chronosphere was eventually triggered
And you, my Tanya, bombed the Construction Yard."

Wut?

See the entire list here: http://quarkinator.blogspot.com/2010/08/list-of-25.html

A song of kickass-ary :D

2010-10-23T14:20:00.000+08:00

2010 Taiwan film fest thoughts

2010-09-26T01:24:00.003+08:00

Six days, seven films.

Top picks:

Cape No 7
Yang Yang
Orzboyz!
Chocolate Rap

Day 1: skipped

Day 2:
Our Island Our Dreams (2009): primarily about growing up I guess. Parts of the story felt far too forced. The fist pounding-on-dirt and loud whining of A Jin were ridiculous. The Kinmen scenery was nice to look at, but the romantic side of the main story became rather meh due to the acting. The highlights were the scenes involving Xin Jung's older sister and the drill sergeant stationed there.

Day 3:
Chocolate Rap (2006): b-boys and coming of age.

Cape No 7 (2009): so this is apparently the second highest selling film to date in Taiwan after Titanic. Tis a romantic drama comedy genre I guess. Good for light laughs and the wax poetic letters being read. Loved the music particularly during the flashback scenes with the teacher narrating. The two main characters, Tomoko and Aga, are nice to look at too. :)

Day 4:
Yang Yang (2009): the story revolves around the (cute) Eurasian named Yang Yang and her search for a deeper human connection. It was a fun film and had a decent dose of non-verbal scenes that show a ton of meaning. The characters were well portrayed too.

Fishing Luck (2005): I don't know who wrote the synopsis in the movie schedule but it barely focused on the "Three Musketeers" and how it changed their lives as it was mostly affecting just one of them. There were barely any scenes which depicted the other two members of the trio mentioned. Anyway, there were some clear WTF moments in the film - parts where you'd want to smack the guy for being so indecisive and idiotic - but it was okay overall. It doesn't seem to be the kind of film that would be shown in a film fest though.

Day 5:
Orzboyz! (2008): youth, friendship, escapism. The end bit was nice too.

Day 6: skipped

I intentionally skipped one movie because it had basketball as part of the theme.

Being cruised

2010-09-25T09:54:00.000+08:00

"Nandito ako para manood ng cine at hindi imolestya."

There are some people who have pet peeves when it comes to watching movies. I don't like people nudging my elbow-and I usually just place my elbows-on the shared armrest. Guess I can now add being restroom cruised into that list. It was day 3 of Cine Europa, I got too engrossed with what I was reading at Powerbooks that I missed a few minutes of the movie. Since I couldn't find a nearby seat when I entered, I decided to just watch from the corridor. I've done this before at previous film fests. Chalk it up to me being too lazy to find a seat. :p

A few minutes of being settled, I decided to go to the restroom to take a leak. I finished, washed and went back to my spot. The guy who had used the urinal beside me apparently had his own ideas.

I had just settled at my spot when I noticed him beside me. He looked at me for a second before going back to wherever he was seated. Looking back, he probably did not make his move then as mall security was right in front of us and watching the movie from the corridor as well. Eventually the guard leaves and he shows up again. He advises me that there are some free seats there and I replied that I was okay where I was. He introduced himself and I guess he may have interpreted my courtesy as a sign of interest. The lingering hand shake was a fucking red flag, but the whispered invite from afar to follow him sealed the deal.

I was not about to skip a movie that I lined up for, free though it may be, just to get my rocks off. I waved him away from afar and ignored him before turning back to face the screen. In hindsight, he probably did not see me gesture due to the lighting. Anyway, I feel something touching my crotch, and I didn't have to look beside me to know who was doing it. I immediately move away from him to place a gap between us the second I felt it. You would think that my reaction would be a clear indication to leave me alone, but he had the guts to ask me where I lived, and if it would be okay if he followed me home. I shook my head no and he asks me how old I am.

"Nandito ako para manood ng cine at hindi imolestya." (I'm here to watch a movie and not get molested) Yeah, I said that. My brain is trying to register it right now too. It sounds like some random line from a local tv soap. Regardless, it did the trick and he immediately left me alone. I tried to watch the movie again from the same spot but the events that transpired ruined it for me so I eventually checked the front row to see if there were free seats. There were two vacant ones now so I took my pick and refocused on the film.

What did I feel during the event that transpired? Annoyance. Most distractions during movie watching are quite annoying don't you think? It doesn't matter if the person who did it was a guy or a girl, I would have said no; however, I won't deny getting a minor ego boost at someone making a pass at me. That is part of how we are wired methinks.

The Cine Europa 13 Experience

2010-09-25T09:44:00.002+08:00

20 something European films, 10 days. Major limiting factor: work weeks. hahaha.

Festival Top 3 Favorites:

Vratne' Lahve "Empties" (Czech Republic)
Hannahannah (The Netherlands)
Philantropique "Philantrophy" (Romania)

Day 1:
Favorite of the day
Vratne' Lahve "Empties" (Czech Republic) - It's a story of a 65 year old man in a turning 40 year marriage. The Czech Republic seems to always deliver during the festival. The movies I've seen from them deliver a balanced dose of humor, drama and self-realizations. The guy who played the main lead was also the same guy in Kolya, one of my favorites in a previous Cine Europa show.

Other films watched:

Svetat E Golyam I Spasenje Debne Obtysyakada "The World is Big & Salvation Lurks around the Corner" (Bulgaria) - A 20 something year old trying to remember his past after an accident. I Loved the use of backgammon in the film. It makes me want to play again. :)

Frygtelig Lykkelig "Terribly Happy" (Denmark) - A police officer is assigned to a small town with dark secrets. Learned a new greeting: Moijn.

Kielletty Hedelma "Forbidden Fruit" (Finland) - Two women from a very conservative Christian sect go to the big city. I sympathize with and relate to the character named Toni.

Day 2:
Favorite of the day
El Greco (Greece) - the story of a famous painter dubbed as El Greco as he was from Crete. He left the island and moved to Venice and eventually settled in Spain. I recognized some of the paintings. The grand inquisitor role was nicely played. Also, beards.

Other films watched:
Tout Est Pardonne' "All is Forgotten" (France) - the plot revolves around a family initially from the point of view of the drug-addicted father then ending with the point of view of the daughter 11 years after. A bit dragging but still okay. The daughter and her friend, during the 11 years after part, were cute.

Der Rauber "Der Rauber" (Germany/Austria) - a thief trains for marathons and wins them but cannot let go of robbing banks. It has a couple of fun scenes.

Mio fratello e' figlio unico "My Brother is an Only Child" (Italy) - I might be off but I think the story was about the search of Accio of a belief system that fit him. He first started from a life in the seminary. He leaves to return home then becomes a Facist and eventually pursues Communism. It also revolves around sibling interactions and the journey of self-realization of Accio. It dragged like hell sometimes, which is something I've noticed from most of the Italian films I've seen in Cine Europa.

Day 3:
Favorite of the day
Philantropique "Philantrophy" (Romania) - twas about organized begging and other scams mostly from the perspective of a struggling newbie writer. The movie originally to be played was Mircea but it freeze framed a lot like a scratched up pirated dvd copy so the staff decided to replace it with something else. It has a lot of enjoyable scenes.

Other films watched:
Hannahannah (The Netherlands) - a one night stand turns into a potential long term relationship for Hannah. I loved the film especially for the small tidbits provided by Hannah's parents in their video to the entire family. It was about thier experiences being part of a 40 year marriage and their advise to their children.

Pokoj V Dusi "Soul at Peace" (Slovenia) - I honestly forgot about this film. I guess it just did not stand out for me. It was about some guy trying to make ends meet after being released from prison for poaching.

El Abuelo "The Grandfather" (Spain) - nice film about an old man trying to find a way to live the rest of his life and making a lot of spitfire statements along the way to various parties. I liked it primarily for the banter/insults thrown by the lead character.

Breaking down the 25: (1) A strong support group

2010-08-30T15:20:00.001+08:00

Hello and welcome to another attempt at blogging regularly again. This time I will go for topics based on what was listed in my previous post.

See the entire list here: http://quarkinator.blogspot.com/2010/08/list-of-25.html

(1) A strong support group

I. Family
I think I was lucky enough not to have parents that were too strict with me. They still set limitations and doled out punishments when needed but I think I had more freedom compared to some of the people I know.
They're very supportive and act more as a recommending body with veto powers than a totalitarian regime.

I remember this one time that I got drunk and my coworker had me call them up. Mom picked up and the first words out of my mouth were along the lines of "Mom, I'm drunk. I'm staying over at a friend's place." I could completely imagine the humor in her eyes and in a friendly, knowing tone, she said okay. The day after, I get back home to the grins of two adults and was regaled with some similar stories from their early years.

All in all, I don't think I had any major problems with my family.

II. Friends
We all have a core group methinks; that certain mix of people that you relay practically everything there is about your life. I think I found that group in college. As we grow older, I'm pretty much aware that we may drift apart considering my lack of initiating communications with them, but we're still relatively tight as of now. There are parts of my life that they know about that my family doesn't, and the same holds true in reverse in as much as my core group doesn't know everything there is about my family history.

I sometimes wonder if the core group will ever expand.

So here I am at 25 and close to a month years old. I ramble online and try not to get too stressed at work these days. I've got good foundations with the people I care most about and here's to hoping that they'll always stab me in the front as per Oscar Wilde's conjecture.

A List of 25

2010-08-06T06:30:00.001+08:00

Dear self,

Please see attached list for your quarter life reference. Please be advised that while some things may already be set in stone, a few adjustments with a chisel can still be made.

A strong support group
A duality of nature
A thousand musings left unsaid
A few key things said wrongly
A sense of losing who you are
A reflection of what should be
An acceptance of a world beyond full control
A maturity that came too soon
Moxie
The power of silence
An appreciation for my key mentors
Interpersonal growth
A blind spot to work on
Slices of pizza
Cuddling
Knowing shortcomings
Movie marathons
Sid Meier
Stuck in a moment
Thousands of books
Contentment with what is already there
A stretched budget
INTJ
Hair loss
Life, love and the pursuit of the things I want to be

No quarter life crisis for the G-man. :-)

Eiga sai 2010 (Japanese Film Fest)

2010-07-05T06:54:00.021+08:00

The 2010 Japanese Film Fest was held at Shangri-la Mall from July 2 to July 11, 2010. All movies were subtitled English. Succeeding screenings will be in Davao, Cebu and UP Film Institute starting July 23, August 3 and August 18 respectively.

I managed to watch 5 of the 10 films listed. They are listed below by order of preference.

Megane (Glasses): It felt a bit offbeat but was a fun show nevertheless. It was an escape to a place of self-reflection from my perspective of what was shown. I want to try the Merci exercises. hahaha. Click for link to trailer.
Houtai krabu (The bandage club): A teen comedy/drama film apparently based on a book according to the movie schedule provided. The concept of bandaging a location where a person felt emotional/physical injury may feel, as Tempo raised, ridiculous (not to mention, an act of vandalism) but the act of kindness for a stranger makes it a worthwhile endeavor. Each member finds healing of their own personal injuries over the course of helping others with their bandage requests.Lastly, the characters of Wara, Risuki and Gimo were cute.
Soredemo boku wa yatte nai (I just didn't do it): A look into the judicial system of Japan particularly with regard to the treatment of gropers. The film shows that accused gropers who plead innocent go through a long process of investigations and hearings. Groping cases have a 99% conviction rate and we are given the perspective of an accused who insists that he is innocent. The film presents the events that may occur over the course of one year, from forced confessions and judges acting as prosecutors.
Kafka Inaka isha (Frantz Kafka’s a country doctor): This is probably a film that requires repeated viewings to fully appreciate. The imagery was interesting, but half the time I was wondering how someone on drugs would interpret it.
Miyori no mori (Miyori in the sacred forest): FernGully-ish.

Side note: While I am glad that there are a lot of people interested in the film festivals, I do find it disappointing that there are people who prefer to murmur loudly to each other rather than leave if the movie does not interest them.

2010 French Film Festival: Final Tally

2010-06-13T20:53:00.000+08:00

I managed to watch 10 out of a possible 12 films. I'm pretty sure that some of the regular senior citizens completed all 12. :)

The last two films I watched today were L' Heure d' ete' (Summer Hours) and L' Imortel (22 Bullets). I think it was a good way to end the festival as they were rather light, theme-wise, compared to the others I saw earlier. I'll probably remember 22 Bullets due to the fact that it was a violent action film with Jean Reno. Summer Hours, on the other hand, will probably be memorable to me because of an eye candy cast member.

Favorite Films for this festival:
Welcome and La Graine et le Mulet.

Side note:

The Ip Man 2 trailer looks interesting. I think I saw a bit of the movie while going home on the bus a few weeks back. Sammo Hong versus Donnie Yen on a table equals awesomeness.
Japanese Film fest at Shangri-la Mall starts next month. ^_^

Day 10: Brilliante Mendoza's Lola

2010-06-12T23:57:00.001+08:00

as seen during day 10 of the French Film Festival @Shang.

Yay:
- Mandaluyong City.
- Grandma lying and cheating to get her grandson out of jail.
- No over-dramatics.
- Subtleties with regard to Mateo's stance of being imprisoned, and the foreigners' discussion while riding the PNR.

Meh:
- Themes were not that interesting for me; it might be to others though.
- Mateo looked rather clean cut compared to the other inmates he was with.
- No subtitles.

Boo:
- None.

Other stuff:
- Mendoza was there and gave a short speech.

Day 4: Of Grains and Knees

2010-06-06T22:39:00.000+08:00

Day 4 of the French film festival@Shangri-la Mall. Only got to watch Le Genou De Claire (Claire's Knee) and La Graine et le Mulet (Secret of the Grain) which brings my total to 7 out of 12 films.

I wasn't able to watch L’Heure d’été (Summer Hours) as there were no tickets left for the show.

Both films were enjoyable, but I'm tired of watching the same 10+ trailers every showtime. In no particular order:

The Last Airbender <= yay
The Sorcerer's Apprentice <= 50-50 on this one
Guardians of Ga'hoole
Despicable Me <= mebbe watching
Chloe <= curious
Letters to Juliet <= how many movies does she have this year?
The Hole (in 3D)
Twilight: Eclipse <= DIAFF
Toy Story 3
Karate Kid <= Jack-ET off. That's what she said.
Knight and Day

I think that's all of it. Mom says that was the same complaint I've lodged ever since I started watching film fests at Shang.

Le Genou De Claire: I think Aurora was kickass. The actress playing Claire was cute.
La Graine et le Mulet: Good film. It has a nice build-up and makes you root for the characters. Showed Murphy's Law in action. Includes a belly dancing scene near the end. Family drama.

And then there were seven

2010-06-05T23:22:00.002+08:00

Day 3 of the French Film Festival@Shangri-la Mall.

Watched four films:
La Fille du RER: Twas okay. BF of lead character looked like a cast member of Grey's Anatomy.

Le Premier Venu: I kinda fell asleep for a few minutes on this one. It did make me think that this was probably what Facebook's "It's Complicated" would be like. Cute lead; reminded me a bit of Milla Jovovich with short hair.

Welcome: First fave of those I've seen so far. Presents immigration, culture, drive, and relationships as major focus points.

Dans La Vie: Another good one I'd recommend. Topic focuses on people getting along despite religious backgrounds (Jews and Arabs).

Other things that may be of interest:
1) Free Selecta ice cream (Almond Chocolate something or Coffee whats-its)
2) Audience eye candy. Yep.

Family Planning Clinic = stressful job

2010-06-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

Day 2 of French film festival at Shangri-la Mall.
Movie watched: Les Bureaux de Dieu (God's Offices)

It was a good movie. It basically showed interviews between the clinic staff and the patients they get, as well as some of a clinic's day to day operations. The film states that the stories were based on selected anecdotes from real cases encountered in family planning/contraceptive clinics in France from the year 2000 to 2007.

It really isn't the type of movie for those who are looking for heavy drama or laughs but there are some funny moments. There were a number of people who left the theater so it may have either offended their sensibilities, or they found it boring. I'd recommend the film for those people, particularly women, who may want to have a glimpse of how these clinics work, and who may be interested in the types of questions received.

Day 3, and the first film for tomorrow will be in around 12 hours as of this posting.

By the way, the grandma who was first in line to go in the theater rawks.

A Reflection of sorts

2010-05-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

My quarter life celebration will be coming up in a few months time. The celebration of 25 years of living. In some ways I think I may have grown up too fast even though I have not gone through the levels of hardships undergone by some of my peers.

To the outside, I think my life would be considered average. Most of the drama occurred during the youthful days of my parents and grandparents and I'm glad for it. I guess one common thing that we all do go through regardless of social background is the realization of self-acceptance.

At the end of the day, we have to rely on ourselves. Our support groups are there to reinforce us but they can only do so much. Who we are, what we believe in and how we present ourselves is ultimately our hand to deal. Internalized dialogues. Shakespearean soliloquies shouted down a chasm of all things banal yet confusingly not so. Determining your place in the world is a work in progress; as is life, as is love, as is every blink of a stranger's eye that goes your way.

2010-05-03T20:48:00.000+08:00

Arteries rot to the sound of a thousand Baconators
Sweet scents shriveling innards with abandon
Synapses hooked for that one shining light

A decayed state of living

Food encounters: Expectation

2010-05-03T07:53:00.000+08:00

There is a burger in the fridge

A one pounder cut in fourths
PHP 60
Almost fully beef

Please don't disappoint me

A Reflection on a day of December 2009

2010-04-29T23:42:00.000+08:00

I liked that day. It was one of the main highlights of the year for me. It was the last day of work for the year and it was a day where I'd watch Avatar with someone that I fancied. I guess I'm thankful for movies with long running times. A little piece of happiness at home from a year of difficulties of working abroad.

Sadly, it didn't work out with that someone. I still lay claim to the memory of that day though. You were a learning experience.

Mom once stated that the chorus to I Remember the Boy (Joey Albert and covered by Lea Salonga) was inaccurate. In time, you won't remember the boy but you remember the feelings of that event. So thanks for the feeling who ever you are. :)

For the Graduates

2010-03-26T06:21:00.000+08:00

You are there in that light of lights
A step towards the rest of your life
Hunt or be hunted, bum it up if you want to
Your choices by now shall be your own

Never forget those lessons learned
The first of struggle, the first of redemption, the first of failure
You are more than just grades on paper

A crab, a seagull, a flounder

2010-03-01T23:22:00.002+08:00

You're like a Disney princess
It is a double edged sword
But who cares, no big deal, you want moooore

Here the waves have parted
Subtlety has been damned by the naked sand
Your goals lie half drowned by the shore

Your actual ending was to be sea foam
The morals somewhat altered from the core
But what harm is there in trying
To exist is to eventually be no more

4D6 minus 2

2010-02-21T10:00:00.004+08:00

I'd stop doing side quests if you told me to
But we both know that would be unfair since you cannot leave town
Those less than threes were never uttered

Were we but tangents in our life, I wonder
A chance encounter never to be repeated by an RNG
A unique drop in a one way dungeon

But my plot still advances and so does yours
I rush into levels and button mash hordes
Forwarding cut scenes to reach to the end

Or maybe I should just stop playing this game
And tell you what I see in you
Which addiction is harder to let go?

"Artist"

2010-02-07T16:51:00.000+08:00

Photoshopped beyond repair
A trail of soot surrounds each footstep
Never the mirror image you desire

Tactless

2010-01-23T22:57:00.001+08:00

You clicked
I clicked
I thought
I sent
You replied
I followed-up
You stabbed
I tried to apologize/clarify
But was blocked

I moved on

People through song:

2010-01-17T10:01:00.005+08:00

(Click the above title to view the actual songs that were linked)
The first:

The rebound/lie:

The flings:

The tease:

The aid to self-realization:

The potential second:
Will be shared once it happens.

Mind music

2010-01-03T16:06:00.001+08:00

It started with an F chord
Those notes slashed his eardrums amidst the darkness
A welcome twinge nods his mind's eye

And so he begins to play
His fingers gliding slowly upon the keys in front of him as he rides the music in his mind
Soon, all tentativeness is gone and it goes into a crescendo
And his hands struggle with finding the proper sounds echoing inside of him

Silence quickly covers the room
"Time for dinner," says a somewhat distant voice
"The world moves on without you"

The 2009 Year End Recap

2009-12-31T10:49:00.002+08:00

Ate nine slices of pizza for the Bigoli Pizza Challenge
Traveled to Iloilo
Solidified my love for vodka
Started this blog
Dug a hole for himself and someone else due to the Punta Fuego incident
Was not able to participate in the hotdog eating contest of 7-11
Traveled to six cities in China
Did overtime during my birthday (again)
Saw penguins :D

Used a gym
Started giving myself my own haircuts via the purchase of an electronic hair trimmer
Stopped my dry spell ;)

Achieved my target weight of 120 lbs and then some (128 lbs)
Lost 8 lbs and maintaining weight at 120 lbs
Read RJ and Sanderson's Gathering Storm within two days
Spent way too much for the book mentioned above
Finally completed reading all four Thomas Harris books with regard to Hannibal Lecter
Got diagnosed with Dry Eye Syndrome
Got new glasses
Bought a condo
Auditioned for someone's voice over project
Ate four plates of pasta at Joey Pepperoni's eat all you can pasta
Solidified friendship with my main crew. naks.
Got my voter's I.D.

Met someone I really like but I sometimes don't know how to deal with it

A new develoment

2009-12-28T19:32:00.001+08:00

Poke it with a stick
Henceforth, you are known as Bob
At least you're benign
===

Bob smiling. December 2009

50 things about the Mom

2009-12-23T00:10:00.003+08:00

1) Said the following line in a dinner discussion: "I don't like romance movies. Let's talk about Bruce Lee or Viggo Mortensen films"
2) Didn't mind when I called you and said I was staying over someone's place because I was drunk
3) Read Lord of the Rings while simultaneously reading the Microsoft XP manual
4) Paid me when I used to do some of the graphics related stuff for her reports
5) Quit cold turkey with smoking, three years and counting
6) Use of the 'helpless old lady' card during rides in the MRT
7) Can fix the computer
8) Does not trust me with electronics, fire and chemicals
9) Blames me for being semi-current with current popular music
10) Admits to liking Eminem if it weren't for all the swearing
11) Did not push me to be an overachiever
12) Insisted I do at least 30 minutes of typing practice before I played games back in my pre-teen years
13) Played Prince of Persia Sands of Time and told me to finish her game
14) Played Sid Meir's: Civilization
15) Cooks kickass Lasagna
16) Is experimental with pasta sauces
17) Reminds me to enjoy all the food I eat today which may eventually be banned from me when I grow older
18) Told me I'd appreciate Dr. Strangelove and I did
19) Respects my privacy
20) Thinks Helen Mirren is sexy
21) Lets me listen to her Queen CDs
22) Dragged me to watch Inglorious Basterds and insisted that I pay for her
23) Introduced me to Italianni's
24) Introduced me to the first Amici in Don Bosco Makati
25) Downloaded and gave me copies of FHM during her research on photoshop and camera lighting
26) Gave me a Swiss Knife as a graduation present in Grade School
27) Insist that I hide my hair trimmer during the summer season as she will be tempted to use them
28) Discreetly told me to check and lock the door before going to bed because of my state of undress
29) Advised me to always have good underwear because you'll never know who'll see you in them
30) Advised me that you can never have too much underwear
31) Does not like nor watch soap operas
32) Told me that one of my dream girls is Daria Morgandorffer
33) Took a picture of me because I looked a bit like a drug dealer when wearing that brown business coat
34) Took an unflattering picture of me when I got back from China where I gained 20 lbs.
35) Does not drag me along to hear Mass anymore
36) Likes Pinky and the Brain
37) Tells me she used to cuss like a sailor in her childhood
38) Has some very interesting friends
39) Provides free finance consultation
40) Reads and helped collect Adventures of Tin-tin Comics
41) Gave me a copy of all the Dilbert strips
42) Likes Stephen Colbert
43) Appreciates Stephen Lynch but would like to hear him sing non-comedy songs
44) Likes Danny Elfman and Tim Burton
45) Reminds me to exercise regularly
46) Made my size 27 Levi's as one of her incentives for losing weight
47) Used to be able to change the 5 gallon water dispenser on her own when she used to workout
48) Got jealous of my younger cousin because he got LEGO Mindstorms and hinted that I buy her a set as well
49) Reads xkcd
50) Is more or less supportive of my decisions unless they are completely questionable

Happy 50th mom. Please don't disown me :p

Against the grain

2009-12-21T18:35:00.000+08:00

I'd kiss you hello, I'd kiss you goodbye
I'd think our lips would never run dry
But the mobs bring their pitchforks
And the pulpits throw brimstone
The sheep are all begging for us to atone

These waves that would crush us, this air that would suffocate
Are but mere distractions to be left at our wake

So come take the plunge, enjoy our show
The pyres will be burning until there is no more

A moment

2009-12-14T05:35:00.000+08:00

An instant not gone
Collapse of a hundred stars
Frozen in your mind

Sight

2009-12-13T23:13:00.001+08:00

Hazy, muddy, dim
Life is sharper with it on
Thankful for the work

Party

2009-12-12T07:19:00.001+08:00

Stupor, much too bright
Song and games, part of the night
Had enough shots, yes?

Converse

2009-12-10T20:30:00.000+08:00

Words are our weapons
Lines rattle through the turrets
Battlefield, chaos

Standard Policies

2009-12-09T20:53:00.000+08:00

Security check
O yea of little faith, yep
no pic no reply

Daily Grind Series: A break

2009-12-08T05:37:00.000+08:00

The LCD shows four
But you replied to my text
Can't wait for weekend

Nearby stores

2009-12-07T21:02:00.001+08:00

A construction site
Laziness, to open soon
It comes with free flab
===
I'm planning on doing a Haiku a day. I wonder how long I can sustain it.

An Invite

2009-12-07T06:23:00.000+08:00

I'd ask for a smile
And dinner at around 8
Seclusion to know

99% Mass Composition

2009-11-01T20:29:00.000+08:00

Slit...a flash of flesh echoes behind the eye
Slash...it trickles down like the wax of melted candles
The wheres are no longer
The hows do not matter
Smash...it thuds on the grass unceremoniously
Regret is but a cold distant thought

Turbulence

2009-06-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

Window seat. The clock shows 20:40
A dark runway.
I see a white light flashing twice in a span of a second just beneath the wing - a signal to show where the plane is.
Elsewhere, the lights of Iloilo City shine - a certain aura of drowsiness faint in the air.
PAL feels so American for some reason.
So here we go. We reach the proper altitude. The video screens are showing some mute prank show and I have an acute feeling of people checking me out. Yeah, I'm full of shit sometimes.
The flight attendants walk by and pass out the coffee, tea or water routine and I get my rations:
1 bag salted greaseless peanuts
3 pieces of wheat crackers
1 cup of mineral water
They are free for once, unlike another airline. There's just something too clinical with PAL though.
We go through a thunderstorm and the rocking starts. I've felt worse riding Anchor's Away in EK but the difference is I'm not holding on to a cup of water in my hand.

Let's just say that it was a good thing that there was no one seated at the middle seat. It'd have look like a major piss stain.

Tis not my first time with turbulence but that was certainly the most interesting one.

A Piano for No One Part 2

2009-05-23T17:52:00.000+08:00

His name is Lamdro Gumindar. His face is forgettable and he never has problems blending into a crowd. The air around him now feels thick with despair and strangers unconsciously give him his space as the crowds rush towards their daily routines.
He seats himself on one of the street benches and looks past the noise of the city.

What if he had not let them go?
What if they had not met?

Three years ago and he is holding his first new born child. His family still did not approve of him but all was well for as long as they were together. He looked into the eyes of his partner and smiled.

His focus returns to his current location. Children are laughing as they race towards the school just beyond the corner. Their energy boundless to explore a world bustling with life. A world he does not seem to connect with anymore.

A Piano for No One Part 01 (Reposted)

2009-05-23T17:26:00.001+08:00

Part 1:

Lam opens the door for the last time. He sees the walls coated in sky blue. He sees the small bed neatly arranged at the center of the room. The floor around the bed is littered with various objects which have not yet been stored away.The dim lights show a blinking computer monitor that was not shut down properly. He closes the door after one final gaze as he sees the future that will never be.

He leaves the house and makes his way to his office. He sees that it is already mid-morning and people walk briskly around him as he slowly drags his feet towards his destination.
"Where have you been?!" are the first words he hears upon entering the office. He sees his boss of five years glaring at him with a look of annoyance. "You were supposed to lead a presentation this morning or have you forgotten? Your team barely made it through there alive after the general managers were done!"
"I'm leaving" Lam says.
"What!?" His boss screams out.
"I have to go"
His boss peers at him and just notices how disheveled he looks. She snaps her eyes to the visible desks around her and the office starts to busy itself once more.
"What happened Lam?" she asked in an urgent whisper only to find the spot where Lam had stood to be empty.
Lam took the stairs down from the tenth floor office. Each step down making him think - what if.

Trust - Secrets

2009-05-09T14:31:00.000+08:00

Keeper of secrets, sharer of none
In a mind that is comfortably numb
Drowning in a glass of water
Recalling the days sought after
Red liquid flows to paths unknown

Herein lies a hall of strays
Herein leads the roads to decay
As fingernails scrape the surface well
Begging to be set free

Calculated Desperation (Reposted)

2009-04-19T19:37:00.000+08:00

I see your vagrant ideology has lost its grandeur
As your following inexplicably dwindles to non-existence
Do you dare go down by yourself in front of your enemies?

This madness that you peddle has taken you now
The ascendancy has shifted away from your grasp
While you lose yourself in the sanity of your own reasoning

Rise to the occasion as your prophets pave the way
The pomp shall drive your non-believers to their knees
Every slight misstep slowly cracks the glass floor which you tread
==
I've forgotten when I originally wrote this -_-

The Story of Every Scar (Reposted)

2009-04-19T19:34:00.000+08:00

In my mind, I see every fracture
the depth of each cut, the sins at the altar
It becokens to me, write what you see
Relive all those bruises, see all of your fears

And you stare at me, my muse
You taunt me with your vision
And like Annie Wilkes did,
you fed my addictions

What do you write? Why do you fear?
You know that the story will never end here
In the silence of your mind, you know this to be true
===
written: March 11, 2008
Video Format's on my youtube page (If you can find it :p)

Contranidicatory (Reposted)

2009-04-19T19:29:00.000+08:00

A prescription in the horizon
A sense of dread
A ventricle seems to stop

It kills you but excites you
The thought of going through it again

Now your mind expands with the possibilities
You wonder of the probabilities
The curves and the tangents
The representative values

All the while you fail to realize
As it is written in a tiny scribble
The warning, almost unseen
Store under room temperature

by: Quarkinator, April 17, 2008

Writings on the Bus (Repost)

2009-04-19T19:27:00.000+08:00

He wrote your name in ink
and she needs you to call me
Some say that you're crazy
while they just look at the T.V.

So what is it now?
He just wanted to get fucked
Keep it on the down low
He is dying to get some

The writings
On the bus
Just fueled your curiosity
All those random ads
and sleazy bathroom philosophies

Random pick-up lines
Confessions of sexuality
It then all just stops
Now is the time to get off

And with one last glance
"What is your worth in this world?"
==
med induced writing rawks
Originally: Nov 12, '08 after taking some painkillers

Just Because... (Repost)

2009-04-19T19:24:00.000+08:00

I haven't bothered you but I haven't forgotten
It was bound and witnessed, it was a pact
Just because...

Words zoomed through you didn't they?
Nothing is binding, nothing is written
and my leniency was quite exploitable
Just because...

And you weep in your glass housing
Pity me! Pity me!
Waiting on that other soul to trust you
Spinning those lies like the softness of your first passionate tongue-fest
Tell em everything they they wanna hear to get them in that back alley
And we might never acknowledge each others presence ever again
Just because...
==

Originally: Feb 21, '09

A shadow of a dance

2009-04-10T08:35:00.000+08:00

I sense your approach
You reek of danger
And you accidentally step on my shoe
You apologize with grace and try to chat me up

I smile at the situation and try to be polite
Worlds spin in your eyes as you judge every possible outcome
The dance immortalized in the streets of Argentina begins
Everything else is a backdrop to the movement of our feet

You shuffle closer and seem determined under my intense stare
You try to take control but I don't let you
The grin on my face catches you unawares
And the roles are reversed

A light touch on the arm
The grazing of knees
And hands that slowly glide behind backs
The space between slowly disappears

image from: http://www.houseofargentina.com/tango.htm

Dead Electronics

2009-04-06T19:16:00.000+08:00

The fan rotates once more. The heat of the dim lights cover the room. What of these machines surrounding me? The heat they emit is long dead from lack of use.
In the silence, I hear the the struggle of the last computer. It sputters to reduce the heat it emits.

It serves.

Daylight recedes and the humming does not end. It never ends.

Showers

2009-03-22T19:02:00.000+08:00

Rivulets of water cascade slowly down your skin
When you slowly force your body onto mine
As my fingers trace every curve that is your own
And your eyes engulf mine with a hunger that I know

You burn under my caresses
While my restraint buckles from yours
The taste of your lips leaves aftershocks beyond the boundaries of time
And the sounds that echoed from those four walls now belongs to my insanity

This closeness is a welcome suffocation
The coldness of the morning is of no importance
We have been used to these temperatures of late
As you say, it serves as an excuse to share our warmth

And once again you take me in
Once again, we both begin
And reality is nothing more than the four corners of that room
And all that just matters is us two

For the moment

2009-03-12T21:04:00.000+08:00

We clung together for the moment
Knowing someone better was out there
It was not acknowledged
It was never there

And the radio played those songs of ours
They veiled the desperation of it all
Dolphin's cried, sonnets were broken
Interlaced with getting no satisfaction

Daggers began floating above us
Hinting of things that would never be
Of torrents and consequence
She never left me and never will

The ambiguous one

2009-03-09T19:20:00.000+08:00

You stare at me with those eyes of yours
Fuck you ambiguous one
Mix the signals like only you know how
It should have been over but look where we are now

Like the pull of a gravitational force so strong that each footstep buries my legs deep in the ground
And I still don't know
What of you then, when we end up locked in spaces wherein nothing but sight and touch shall be?
I will not hold back. I can never hold back.

That instant, a fraction of a second, and you will know
But I might never know. You might never know.
And that intersection may never occur again.

A Pinoy 6th Grader's Summary of 2001 Space Odyssey (In Filipino)

2009-03-01T08:00:00.000+08:00

Pamagat: 2001 Space Odyssey
Patnugot: Arthur C. Clark
Mga Tauhan: Frank Poole, HAL 9000, David Bowman
Pinangyarihan: Spaceship Discovery

Isang alien civilization ang unang dumating sa mundo sa panahon wala pang kasaysayan at sa pamamagitan nito ay bumalangkas ang unang tao. Dumaan ang ilang siglo, ang tao ay nakagawa na ng mga koloya sa buwan at nakatuklas ng isang obelisk sa buwan. Isang misyon sa buwan na Japetus ng Jupiter ay ginawa, dahil naniniwala sila na ito ang pinagmulan ng obelisk na ang pangalan ay TMAI o Tycho Magnetic Anomaly-One. Ang tripulante ng spaceship Discovery ay binubuo ni HAL 9000, isang super-computer, Frank Poole, David Bowman at tatlo pang astronauts na in Hibernation. Ang utos ni HAL ay isaalang-alang ang tagumpay ng misyon sa ibabaw ng lahat na secretong utos na hindi alam ni Poole at Bowman na nagresulta sa pagkamatay ng mga astronauts. Si Poole lang ang naiwan na buhay, at pagkatapos niyang patayin ang computer na si HAL, siya ay nagpatuloy sa kanyang sarili sa Japetus. Dito, nakakita siya ng TMAII, kapareho sa natkulasan sa buwan. Dinala siya ng TMAII sa ibang dimensyon, kung asan nagbago ang kanyang anyo - halos enerhiya. Ito ay nagbigay sa kanya ng kaiibang kapangyarihan, na pagnilay-nilayin niya kung kailan at saan gagamitin.
====
I believe there was heavy usage of an English-to-Filipino dictionary in this one.
I seem to recall having Animal Farm and When Worlds Collide book reports in Filipino as well.

Three things

2009-02-27T20:16:00.000+08:00

On Iambic Pentameter
You limit my choice
Iambic pentameter
Haiku is more fun

Appetite
I follow the scent
I see food on the table
There is no more now

Relative
Time is on my side
I look at the clock again
Guess I was wrong there

Retardedly Straight

2009-02-27T19:51:00.000+08:00

You meet a person
All it takes is one good look
Retardedly Straight